How to Solve the Child-Rapist Priest Problem in 3 Easy Steps

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I would rather have a nod from an American, than a snuff-box from an emperor. ~Lord Byron

If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my right hand forget her cunning.

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Name: Sian
I paint, write, and dance. Also cook vegetarian food.

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Monday, 08 August 2005

How to Solve the Child-Rapist Priest Problem in 3 Easy Steps

Step #1. Recognize the fact that the Pope is, in fact a foreign power. Yes, he's the spiritual "leader" of millions of Catholics, but he is also the temporal leader of a very real, very physical nation called "The Vatican," "Vatican City," or "The Papal States." He signs treaties, appoints ambassadors, controls territory, and even has a seat at the United Nations. For all practical purposes, he functions as the head of a government.

Moreover, the government in question is NOT an ally of the United States. In World War II, the Vatican had a treaty with Mussolini. (That is to say, the Vatican was, for all practical purposes, a member of the Axis.) Now, the Vatican refuses extradition, and acts as a haven to fugitives accused of abusing, molesting, and sodomizing American Children.

2. Revoke the Passport and Citizenship of every person who makes an oath of allegience to this foreign power. Yes, I know that the foreign power in question refers to it's oaths of allegience as "Vows of Poverty" or "Holy Orders," but that's really just semantics. If you stand in front of God, and/or witnesses, and swear to obey a foreign power, that would be an Oath of Allegience.

Read the back of your passport, people: To make an Oath of Allegience to a foreign power is to renounce your American Citizenship. Period. Full stop. No ifs ands, or buts.

At ordination, Roman Catholic Seminarians renounce their American Citizenship.

Immigration and Naturalization should send these foreign nationals a letter informing them of their new status, including the proper forms to apply for visas, green cards, and so on:

Dear Father So and So:

It has come to our attention that you have made a public oath of allegience to a foreign power. Please relinquish your passport to INS within 30 days.

Love and Kisses, INS

3. If any of these foreign nationals sets so much as a toe out of line, deport his ass (along with any other offending part of his anatomy) back to his country of citizenship. I don't just mean "If he's actually caught raping a child, deport him." I mean, if there's any suspicion. And, while we're at it, deport every priest and cenobite in the whole damned parish: obstruction of justice is a crime, too.

The Vatican is not going to fix this problem. The Vatican has a history of sodomy and child molestation going back centuries. Ask the little boy they painted gold for a papal coronation. Ask the Medici popes.

And if anyone actually finds a celibate priest, somebody should call the pope.